Capítulo de las emociones. Tercera parte: la pena.

Capítulo de las emociones. Tercera parte: la pena.

Bien aventurados sean los que lloran  porque ellos serán consolados.

Jesús (Mateo 5:4)

El sollozo, la respiración entrecortada, las lágrimas espontáneas, la espalda curvada, el mal dormir, la perdida del deseo de vivir, el mundo en gris. Todos síntomas de la enfermedad mas importante de los últimos veinte años, la depresión.

La pena tiene la poderosa energía de aislarnos, de alejarnos del mundo llevándonos a un terreno que no deseamos. Esta emoción tiene como una de sus principales características agotar la energía. Cuando la pena llega, trae consigo el desanimo, la desesperanza.

La depresión, la enfermedad de la pena, ha llevado a la conversación este tema en los últimos años. Diálogo que nadie quiere tener. El deseo es tomar unas pastillas, seguir un tratamiento y  volver al vértigo exterior. La negación del diálogo cuando en realidad es justamente lo que desea la pena, conversar contigo de temas importantes.

La pena tiene distintas posibilidades de aparición y para analizarla es oportuno tomar un caso extremo, la perdida de un ser querido. Cuando alguien parte todo es recuerdo, los aromas, su forma de vestir, sus palabras, inclusive las experiencias actuales no tienen mucho sentido ante esta soledad, queremos que este aquí, que vea lo que estamos observando que sienta los sabores, poder decirle aquellas cosas faltaron, disfrutar un tiempo mas. Pero el luto ha llegado para quedarse y mientras la vida sigue la pena continúa. Analicemos otra pena importante en el ser humano, la soledad ante un rompimiento amoroso. La forma en que lo viven hombres y mujeres son distintas pero su intensidad es la misma. Adiós compañía, bienvenida soledad o como diría Pablo Neruda : “es tan corto el amor pero tan largo el olvido”.

¿Como consolarse?, ¿como evitar el dolor de la pena?, pero como diría Varela con coraje : ¡ Y por que!, ¡de donde salio esto que siempre hemos de estar bien!., ¡de donde salio esta cultura de la enfermedad con farmacias en cada esquina para evitar o eludir nuestro dolor!.

La pena  es tu espacio, es el momento exacto del reencuentro con algo que quieres negar, un hermoso dialogo interno, algo te quiere decir, algo importante. Los grandes maestros ya se daban cuenta de esto, el mismo Jesús decía “allí donde haya dolor ahí estaré” y Buda ilustro la vida en base al dolor. La pena, aquella emoción que te lleva a la soledad, cuando en verdad es el momento de mayor compañía : el cielo se ordena para acogerte, los seres en los cuales dejaste de creer ahora se hacen fuertes por que así lo deseas y los milagros están a la espera. Recuerda eso que todos sabemos “los verdaderos amigos aparecen en los momentos difíciles”. Esta emoción llega como un manto oscuro en una  mano pero con una pequeña vela encendida en la otra. Hagas lo hagas esta vela no se apaga, así sea que tu quieras partir o terminar con tu propia vida, nada podrás hacer para evitar que siga encendida. Llora todo lo que puedas porque el consuelo siempre llega, tan solo mira de cuando en cuando la vela.

Solo debes de tener un cuidado con la pena, haz de seguir su advertencia, que es que la aproveches. Ella ha de volver con mas fuerzas si evitas aprender su lección. Esa es su función, esa es su realidad, que mañana seas una mejor persona. A modo de práctica la próxima vez que tengas pena relájate y siente de donde viene, te confieso que en mi caso últimamente me he dado cuenta que viene desde la ansiedad, ahora descubierta creo que se en que camino debo ir.  La pena es un metal, pesado al comienzo, pero una vez forjado se transforma en nuestro estandarte mas preciado, en nuestro distintivo. En Tai Chi la pena no se siente pero su práctica lleva la respuesta en como trabajarla : déjate llevar, relaja tu mente, lleva la práctica a lo cotidiano, deja que fluya permitiendo descubrir aquellos bloqueos que sin duda algo te quieren decir.

Uno de los seres mas queridos que tengo, un referente en mi vida, un ángel, me confeso tiempo atrás la terrible experiencia de una violación que sufrió. Después de tal revelación y con mi corazón destruido le pregunte como fue que salio de esto porque al verla solo veía felicidad y una hermosura que sobrecogía hasta los mas ciegos, su respuesta fue simple: “llore, desee que todo terminara pero cada cierto tiempo me decía que algo bueno iba a sacar de todo esto”… y vaya si así fue.

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Comentarios

Siento que va escrito para mi...he pasado por tantos estados de penitas, aunque creo que ninguno es por depresión como enfermedad, si no, un proceso que estoy transitando y que creo que nunca terminará. Hay días mejores y otros no tanto, el recuerdo es permanente, el dolor y el desconsuelo son sus acompañantes, y por momentos creo que no soy contenida como yo quisiera y me hacen falta seres que  hayan sufrido lo que hoy sufro yo.

No me aferro a la pena, es ella la que se niega a irse...pero no es una pena de lágrimas constantes, son conversaciones de preguntas sin respuestas, son silencios vacíos, pensamientos distantes, lejanos, sueños de reencuentros y cariños...por momentos creo que me hace bien, en otros creo que deliro. Sé que debo vivirlo, cuesta y mucho....y al leerte, siento que es natural de todo ser que ha tenido una pérdida, que no soy la única, ni seré la última, que tendré muchas más y quizás peores...pero en este momento, en este instante es lo que siento. Un dolor enorme dentro de mi corazón, un desgarro que me parte en dos.  Ya que me aislo para sufrir sola...y luego debo colocarme mi careta y decir show must go on...y a veces no quiero.

Uf...que complicado. Duele mucho 

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Lo más importante en la vida, es uno mismo.

Malú

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En momentos en lo que uno solamente quiere sobrevivir, todo ayuda....yo ya lo dejé partir el día antes a que dejase de respirar. Pero existía entre él y yo un vínculo muy fuerte, de otra vida...incluso me dijieron que debía recuperar mi verdadera relación que tuve con él en esta vida y creo que esa es la que me cuesta.

No sé si tienes a tus padres vivos, ni como es tu relación con ellos. Si bien no soy una niña, soy una mujer hecha ya, pero soy la menor de mi familia. Y mi relación era de una constante interacción a pesar de la distancia. Incluso teníamos premoniciones sobre el otro...Guauu...hace tiempo que dejé de hacer terapia y no quisiera retomarla y al escribirte siento que abuso de tu espacio.

Mis mejores recuerdos de infancia y adolescencia son a su lado. Siendo ya una mujer, fue mi cómplice en la vida, no sabría como explicarlo. Pensé que me resultaría mucho más fácil, pues yo no vivo en Chile y alcancé a verle pocos días antes de que partiese.  Perdona..debes creer que alucino. No soy tampoco una persona que vive llorando, es una pena oculta, escondida...una suerte de clown.

saludos y gracias. 

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Lo más importanete en la vida, es uno mismo.

Malú

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I'm not sure where you're getting your info, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more. Thanks for great info I was looking for this information for my mission.
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No las volveré a pedir...espero que entiendas mi pena porque eres un buen entendedor y no porque hayas sufrido.

De igual modo y a pesar de las penas...la puta que vale la pena estar vivos...!

saludos. 

-----------------

Lo más importante en la vida, es uno mismo.

Malú

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Hace algunos meses que acabé, creo (aunque aún de repente salta esa angustia incontrolable) con un estado depresivo que me tuvo muy mal. Describiste cada una de las sensaciones que tuve. Jamás pensé que podría salir de ese hoyo atroz en el que fui entrando de a poco y del que no quise o no supe salir a tiempo.

Creo que mi peor error fue intentar no llorar cuando sentí ganas de hacerlo y eso se acumuló y creció y estalló. Lloré hasta que quedé seca, esa fue la sensación, después vino la angustia que me ahogaba y los deseos de volver a llorar pero las lágrimas ya no existían, y esa etapa creo que fue la peor y se vuelve un círculo vicioso.

Pero finalmente, te das cuenta que ese llanto y angustia se transforma en energía, mucha energía, débil al principio, más fuerte después y en aprendizaje al final.


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umm alguna otra receta para pasar la pena .....
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por el abrazo y las  recetas.

saludos carmen gloria.

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Estubo buena  la receta del chocolate gracias ,sabes  sigo leyendo tus  articulos  y sigo  encontrado  cosas  buenas .

saludos y gracias

carmen g.


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 fue de gran  ayuda todavia me queda chocolate a pura fuerza de voluntad

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Me pasa a veces que presiento que vendrá la pena y se que voy a querer llorar porque soy llorona. "no quiero llorar...por favor no llores", y asi sigo insistiendome hasta que me vence la pena y ahí quedo con esos pensamientos y sentimientos tan arrojados y vulnerables y cuando por fin se va desvaneciendo me pasa algo extraño que sé que le ocurre a todos, viene una especie de calma y aceptación, como sueño, letargo y distancia y entonces salir a caminar o simplemente tenderse y dormir resultan ser de alguna manera algo exquisito. cuando uno busca callar esa pena y su expresión y va a buscar ruído y distracción pierde una experiencia que toca hasta lo místico, es como el consuelo, como una sensación de caricia que reconforta de la manera más extraña. por eso me atrajo inmediatamente tu cita del nuevo testamento y me parece bastante extraño cuando nos aconsejan que hay que mentalizarce con pensamientos contrarios y borrar esa sensación como quien apreta un botón. he aprendido mucho a través de esa experiencia, incluso al final cuando se calma me pasa que puedo perdonar, que puedo sentir que quiero olvidar y superar, en fin, termino siempre pensando en algo que antes no entendía. saludos.
la jose
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